Older members of our clans and tribes used to joke, then suddenly stopped or limited it; why?

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Older members of the clans and tribes would often engage in humor, but then suddenly ceased or restricted their joking with certain youth and elders; why?

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that it was said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Do you joke with us?” Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Verily, I do not say anything but the truth”. [1]

Al-Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said: “Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, engaged in joking, thus joking became a Sunnah”. It was said to Imam Sufyan ibn Uyaynah, may Allah have mercy upon him, “Is joking a defect?” He said, “No, it is a Sunnah, but the matter depends on who can do it well and place it in the right place”. [2]

Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “There are six aspects of sense of honour; three when resident and three when travelling. The three when resident are: reciting the Book of Allah, maintaining the mosques of Allah, and forming friendships for the sake of Allah. As for those related to traveling, they are: sharing provisions, exhibiting good character, and engaging in joking without committing sins”. [3]

Khalid Ibn Safwan, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: “There is no harm in joking that would lift a man from a state of frowning.” [4]

Saʿīd ibn al-ʿĀṣ, may Allah have mercy upon him, advised his son: “Moderate your joking; for excessive joking diminishes your dignity and emboldens the foolish against you. Conversely, being too reserved in your humour can alienate your companions and create distance with those around you.” [5]

Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, stated: “Whoever engages excessively in something will be recognised for it; whoever jokes too much will be taken lightly; and whoever laughs frequently will lose their dignity.” [6]

Ya’la bin Munyah advised three things in a lengthy discourse: “Beware of joking; for it diminishes dignity, leads to reproach, and undermines honour”. [7]

Saʿīd ibn al-ʿĀṣ, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: “O my son! Do not joke with the noble, lest he harbours resentment against you, and do not joke with lowly one, lest he becomes bold towards you”. [8]

al-Khaṭṭābu ibn al-Muʿallā al-Makhzūmiyyū, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: “Beware of excessive speech and laughter, as well as joking and trivial joking with friends, for such behaviour diminishes one’s dignity and fosters animosity. Instead, embrace composure, without any arrogance attributed to you, nor any pride that is reported about you” [9]

[1] Sahih Sunan Al-Tirmidhi 1990

[2] al-Laṭāʾif wa-ẓ-Ẓarāʾif page 151 by Abu Mansur Abd al-Malik ibn Muhammad ibn Isma’il al-Naysaburi Ath-Thaʿālibi

[3] al-Tadhkira al-Ḥamdūnīya 831

[4] Muhadarat al-udaba 1/346

[5] Adab al-dunyā wa al-dīn 1/ 346

[6] al-Mūshī page 13 by Abū ʿAlī al-Ḥasan ibn Muḥammad ibn ʿAnbar ibn Shākir al-Baghdādī al-Washshāʾ

[7] al-Murūʾa pages 54-55 by Abū Bakr Muḥammad ibn Khalaf ibn al-Marzubān ibn Bassām al-Muḥawwilī al-Baghdādī al-Ājurrī

[8] al-Samt by Ibn Abi al-Dunya page 211

[9] Rawḍat al-ʿUqalāʾ 198