In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allah, The Most High. said:

قَوۡلٌ۬ مَّعۡرُوفٌ۬ وَمَغۡفِرَةٌ خَيۡرٌ۬ مِّن صَدَقَةٍ۬ يَتۡبَعُهَآ أَذً۬ى‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَنِىٌّ حَلِيمٌ۬

Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing]. [Al-Baqarah. 263]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated:

Allah informed us that kind speech- which all hearts recognise and do not reject; and forgiveness- to pardon the one who treated you badly, are better than charity that is followed by harm. Kind speech is good treatment and charity through speech; and forgiveness is good treatment by way of refraining from retaliation and holding someone responsible. These are two types of good treatments.

As for charity followed by harm, it is a good deed that is followed by its nullifier, and there is no doubt that two good deeds are better than a good dead that is nullified.

This also includes the forgiveness shown by the person when he encounters some harm and harsh behaviour from the one who he could not fulfil his request; therefore, showing forgiveness to him would be better than giving him charity and then harming him. Speaking kindly to him, refraining (from retaliation) and forgiving him is better for you than giving him charity and then harming him.

Then Allah ended this verse with the mention of two of His Attributes which are suitable for mention in this matter, saying:

وَٱللَّهُ غَنِىٌّ حَلِيمٌ۬

And He is Most-Forbearing.

Indeed, Allah is not in need of you and nothing (from the benefits of) your charity reaches him, rather all the abundant good in this charity and its benefits returns to you and not to Allah. Therefore, how can one flaunt through his spending and causes harm while Allah is completely not in need of it and everything else besides it. In addition to this, Allah is forbearing because He does not hasten punishment against the one who flaunts. Allah is completely free from need in every way and He is the One described as One with forbearance, the one who overlooks and forgives, alongside the fact that He bestows His vast favours and ample gifts; then how can one of you harm another person by flaunting and offending, even though what you give is little, and you are weak and poor (in the sight of Allah).

Then Allah said:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تُبۡطِلُواْ صَدَقَـٰتِكُم بِٱلۡمَنِّ وَٱلۡأَذَىٰ كَٱلَّذِى يُنفِقُ مَالَهُ ۥ رِئَآءَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلَا يُؤۡمِنُ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأَخِرِ‌ۖ فَمَثَلُهُ ۥ كَمَثَلِ صَفۡوَانٍ عَلَيۡهِ تُرَابٌ۬ فَأَصَابَهُ ۥ وَابِلٌ۬ فَتَرَڪَهُ ۥ صَلۡدً۬ا‌ۖ لَّا يَقۡدِرُونَ عَلَىٰ شَىۡءٍ۬ مِّمَّا ڪَسَبُواْ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يَهۡدِى ٱلۡقَوۡمَ ٱلۡكَـٰفِرِينَ

O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allah, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with what they have earned. And Allah does not guide the disbelieving people. [Al-Baqarah 264]

This spender, whose spending has been nullified, is likened to a Safwaan – a rock with a smooth, flat, and slippery surface and with dust on it. Then heavy rain falls on it, washing away the dust and leaving it bare, devoid of any vegetation or growth. This is one of the finest and most profound parables because it draws a parallel between the heart of such a spender, who flaunts and his spending is devoid of belief in Allah and the Last Day, to the rock itself, symbolising hardness, rigidity, and lack of benefit. It demonstrates the impact of charity represented by the fine dust on the rock, and the heavy rain that washes it away, mirroring the nullification and removal of the spender’s charity. Consequently, the spender is unable to reap any rewards from his charity, as it has been nullified and removed.

Another perspective on this is that (even though) someone spends for something other than the sake of Allah, it may seem like they have performed a deed that will be rewarded. So, it seems as if it is made to grow like the grain that is sown in fertile soil and it grows seven ears, and each era has a hundred grains. However, hidden behind this spending there is something that prevents it from gaining anything, just like a rock hidden beneath the soil that stops seeds from sprouting and growing.

An Excerpt from Tareeq Al-Hijratayn 452-454