Disobedience to and Mistreatment of One’s Parents is One of the Greatest of Major Sins – Explained by Shaykhs ibn Baz, Al-Uthaimin & Shaykh al-Fawzan

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

On the authority of Abee Bakrah – Allāh be pleased with him – the Messenger of Allāh (صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said,

“Should i not inform you of the greatest of major sins?”

We (the companions) said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allāh”.

He said, “Associating partners with Allah, and disobedience to and mistreatment of one’s parents.” (1)

Shaykh Abdul Aziz ibn Baz (Allah have mercy upon him) stated,

“Al-‘Uqooq is part of cutting the ties of kinship, however it is more severe and greater than that, the greatest form of severing ties, is severing ties with one’s parents. Therefore, it is obligatory upon every Muslim to beware of both disobedience and mistreatment (to one’s parents) and severing the ties of kinship (with other family members). He should treat his parents well, keep the ties of kinship, and fear Allāh regarding that, even if they cut him off, or mistreat him, he continues to give them their rights. The Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said,

“The maintainer of ties is not the one who (merely) reciprocates. Rather the one who maintains ties of kinship is the one who when his relatives cut him off, maintains ties of kinship.”

He responds to wrongdoing with kindness, this is how the people of truth, the people of sunnah and jamaa’ah maintain ties with those who cut them off, they treat well those who have wronged them. Allāh the Mighty and Majestic says in His Book,

فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا۟ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوٓا۟ أَرْحَامَكُمْ ٢٢
Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَىٰٓ أَبْصَـٰرَهُمْ ٢٣
 Such are they whom Allāh has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight. (Muhammad: 22-23)

Included within these verses is disobedience and mistreatment as it is the greatest and most severe form of severing ties. Allah the Most High says,

وَٱلَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهْدَ ٱللَّهِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ مِيثَـٰقِهِۦ وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَآ أَمَرَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦٓ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ لَهُمُ ٱللَّعْنَةُ وَلَهُمْ سُوٓءُ ٱلدَّارِ ٢٥
Those who break the covenant of Allāh after contracting it and sever that which Allāh has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and spread corruption on earth – for them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away from Allāh’s Mercy), and they will have the worst home(i.e. Hell). (Ar-Rad: 25)” (3)

In explanation of the same narration Shaykh al-Fawzan (Allah preserve him) comments,

“After Allāh mentioned His right (in the Qur’an), He then mentioned the right of the parents,

وَٱعْبُدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا۟ بِهِۦ شَيْـًۭٔا ۖ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًۭا ٣٦

Worship Allâh and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents (An-Nisaa: 36)

and

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا ٢٣
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (Al-Israa: 23)

Therefore, the right of  parents is mentioned after the right of Allāh, The Most High. ‘Uqooq towards parents is among the gravest of major sins, after associating partners with Allah. It means treating them poorly (by disobeying them in matters that don’t displease Allāh, being rude to them, dishonouring or disrespecting them, and speaking to them in an inappropriate way.)” (4)

With regards to the mothers specifically, then they have been singled out in a number of narrations. One such narration,

“Indeed Allah has prohibited you from disobedience and mistreatment of the mothers…” (5)

Shaykh al-Uthaimin (Allah have mercy upon him) states, (6)

“If a person were to ask, “Why did he (صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) specifically mention mothers?”

We say, because in most cases severing ties (or bad treatment) is to them. This is because the father is a strong man, and generally he holds authority over his son, and he will take his right himself. And mothers are generally weaker, and are unable to defend themselves. Therefore, the severing of ties, disobedience, and mistreatment (is generally) towards them. Additionally, disobedience to and mistreatment of fathers is impermissible; there is no difference. It is not allowed to be disobedient or mistreat the fathers either.

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا ٢٣
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (Al-Israa: 23) 

(1) Bukhari 2654, Muslim 87

(2) Bukhari 5991

(3) Explanation of Riyadh as-Salihin of Shaykh ibn Baz (Allah have mercy upon him)

(4) Explanation of Kitab Al-Kabaa’ir of Shaykh al-Islam Muhammad ibn Abdul Wahhab (Allah have mercy upon him)

(5) Bukhari 2408, Muslim 593

(6) Explanation of Bulugh al-Maram, Kitab al-Jami, Chapter of Good Treatment and Maintaining Ties of Kinship.