The Discernment of Our Pious Predecessors: Gentleness Where It Mattered

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, distributed (wealth), so I said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Other people are more entitled to it than these”. He said, “They gave me no option; either they would have asked me in a very harsh manner or they would have considered me miserly, and I am not miserly”.

Al-Allamah Zayd Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

In this hadith, there is proof to show that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was gentle towards his companions because he did not scold Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, when he made this suggestion that the ones who did not receive wealth were more worthy of receiving it than those who received it, but the Prophet did not scold him; rather he informed him of the reason behind what he did. This is proof that the Prophet had the highest level of gentleness, good manners, good dealing and beautiful patience. How can this not be when it is the fact that he is Allah’s Messenger and the most virtuous human to be taken as an example in his good manners, gentleness, good dealings with the young, the old, male and female. This is the first matter. Second, the insignificance of the worldly things in the sight of the Prophet because he was not asked anything of worldly wealth, except that he gave it. He never refused to give the one who asked because Allah commanded him, saying: [وَأَمَّا السَّائِلَ فَلاَ تَنْهَرْ – And repulse not the beggar], especially the one who behaved harshly towards him when asking because the worldly things were insignificant to him. He said, “If the world was worth the wing of a fly in the sight of Allah, a disbeliever would not have been given a sip of water from it”. [1]

Abu Sulayman and Malik bin Huwairith, may Allah be pleased with them, reported: We came to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and we were (a few) young men of approximately equal age and stayed with him for twenty nights. Then he thought that we were missing our families, so he asked us whom we had left behind to look after our families, and we told him. He was compassionate and kind, so he said, “Return to your families, teach them and order them (to do good deeds). Perform your prayers in the manner you saw me performing my prayers, and when the time for the prayer arrives, then one of you should pronounce its call (i.e. the Adhan), and the eldest of you should lead you in prayer. [2]

Aa’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her: “O Aa’isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”.

Al-Allamah Zaid Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

This hadith contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also, this hadith contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all matters, for indeed gentleness is not found in any matter except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it ruins it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony. [3]

When Umar ibn Abdul Aziz -may Allah have mercy upon him- intended to punish a man, he would imprison him for three days before administering the punishment, as he disliked acting hastily in the heat of anger. [4]

Ali ibn al-Husayn, known as Zain al-Abidin, may Allah have mercy upon him, used to travel on his riding beast to Makkah and return without hitting it (or reproaching it to go faster). [5]

Thābit al-Bunānī, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: “Ṣilah ibn Ashyam, mya Allah have mercy upon him, and his companions went past a young man dragging his garment. [a] Silah’s companions were about to reprimand him harshly, but he intervened, saying: ‘Leave him; I will suffice you regarding his affair’. Then he said to the young man, ‘O my nephew! I have a need from you’. He (the young man) said: ‘What is your need’?’ He said, ‘I would like you to lift your garment’. The young man said: ‘Certainly, and what a delightful request it is!’ Then he lifted his garment. Silah said to his companions: ‘This was better than what you wanted to do. If I had insulted him and caused him distress, he would have retaliated with insults towards you'”. [6]

It has been transmitted from Habeeb ibn Hujr al-Qaysi, may Allah have mercy upon him, who said: “It used to be said: “How excellent Iman is when adorned with knowledge! How excellent knowledge is when adorned with action! How excellent a deed is when adorned with gentleness!” [7]

[a] Read article by Shaikh Abu Khadeejah, may Allah preserve him. https://abukhadeejah.com/whatever-is-below-the-ankles-from-the-garment-will-be-in-the-fire-long-trousers-without-kibr/

[1] at-Taleeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahadith As-Saheehah 1/152

[2] Al Bukhari 6008

[3] at-Ta’liqat Al-Malihah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahadith As-Sahihah. 1/277

[4] Siyar A’lam An-Nubulaa 5/133

[5] Siyar A’lam An-Nubulaa 3/388

[6] al-Amr bi-l-Maʿrūf wa-l-Nahy ʿan al-Munkar by Ibn Abī al-Dunyā. page 48

[7] Reported Ibn Al-Mubaarak, may Allah have mercy upon him, in Az-Zuhd 1336