”And live with them honourably.” [Soorah An-Nisaa: Ayah 19]
”This includes intimate companionship (in) speech and action. It is incumbent upon a husband to live with his wife honourably with regards to beautiful companionship, averting harm, kind treatment and good dealings. Spending (on her) and (providing her with) clothing is included in this and what is similar to both [these two affairs (i.e. spending and clothing)]…..”
In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy
Ustaadh Abu Khadeejah (may Allaah preserve him) sent this message via WhatsApp from Abu Afnaan Muhammad (may Allaah preserve him):
From some of the benefits of today’s lesson in Kitab at Tawheed with Sheikh Muhammad Ibn Ramzan al Hajiri حفظه الله تعالى in the city of ad Dammam:
1. Being firm upon the truth is more difficult than knowing the truth. 2. Students of knowledge – spread at tawheed. The people are in need of at tawheed more than their need of food, drink and clothing. A person will not die until the provisions Allah has decreed for him have reached him, but if he dies upon as shirk (his abode is the hellfire forever) This is the concern because he can have all the dunya and it wont benefit him if he goes to Allah upon shirk. 3. The people of falsehood and bidah are the same throughout the ages in their refutation of the truth. If you tell a Jahmi the verses regarding Allahs names and attributes, he’ll say ‘don’t qoute the verses of the Hashawiyah (deragatory name used by the jahmiyah to disparage ahl sunnah).
If you go to someone who worships graves and tell him the verses of tawheed al ibaada, he’ll say don’t use the verses of the wahabiyah. And if you go the the khawarij and tell them the verses and ahadith of hearing and obeying (the rulers) they will respond don’t use the verses and proofs of the jaamiyah (reference to Sheikh Muhammad Amaan). Ya subhaan Allah!! Look at how they describe verses and ahadith. Verses of the Quran and ahaadith of the Messenger. Are these not the statements of the Lord of Allah Worlds and the statements of the best of mankind? 4. A person is misguided if he is ignorant of the truth with its proofs and if he wanted to know the truth he is prevented from arriving at it as there are those inviduals who warn from the truth and its people. So he is ignorant of the truth and has become an enemy to its people.
The sheikh mentioned a statement by Ibn Baz: ‘miskeen, a person is ignorant and then becomes an enemy to the people of truth. How will know the truth? Mushkilah!!!’
أسأل الله أن يجزي الشيخ خير الجزاء و أن ينفع به و يبارك في علمه
Shaykh Uthaymeen was asked about a woman who raises her voice and shouts at her husband:
(Paraphrasing)
Indeed raising of the wife’s voice towards her husband is from evil manners, and that is because he is her protector and he takes care of her.*
Therefore it is a must that she respects him and addresses him with manners. Because that is more likely to create affection between them and enables friendship and love to remain between them. Likewise the husband must also treat her kindly. So good manners and kind treatment is mutual, Allah the Most High said:
…And treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.
Soorah An-Nisaa’ Verse 19
Fataawa Noor alad Darb li ibn Uthaymeen
* Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
Soorah An-Nisaa Verse 34
The pregnant divorcee or widow has an iddah (specific time period before she can get married which is) until she has given birth, due to His statement:
And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they deliver (their burdens)
Soorah Al-Talaaq Verse 4
(So) the marriage contract with her is obsolete and the marriage is not complete.
In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy
Ustaadh Abu Khadeejah (may Allaah preserve him) wrote this morning via WhatsApp:
Ibn Battah: One of the Salaf was asked, “Who is the Sunni?” He answered: “The one who does not get angry when bid’ah (or its people) are spoken about.”
By Allaah, this is a defining and distinctive trait of the Salafis past and present. They are the most knowledgeable of the people in the arena of aqeedah and they are the sternest against the opposers (mukhaalifeen). They are the gentlest between each other; they are the most obedient to Allaah and the most God-fearing; they hold to the Rope of Allaah, which is the Book and the Sunnah and the Jamaa’ah. They hate division and splitting and partisanship. They are like one body in their mutual love, mercy and compassion – when any part of this body is in pain, the rest of the body feels restless and feels the pain. The Salafi upon the path of istiqaamah does not let down his ‘ulamaa when they are attacked and reviled nor the students of knowledge who call to Allaah. He doesn’t forsake the people of truth, or turn his back on them, or backbite them, or revile them. If he is not able to aid the truth, or aid the people of truth, he should at least remain quiet and not oppose them – rather he should make du’aa for them, for indeed the Salafi is upon clarity, always, till his death. Cultivate these traits in yourself and your families. [End of Quote]
We ask Allaah for sincerity, firmness and a good end… (Aameen)
Our Shaykh, the question is: Here in the west, particularly in America, Canada, and Britain, we have well-known Salafee Masaajid, and centers; classes and lectures are held therein with some of the students of knowledge and visiting scholars whenever possible. When this is the case, is it okay for the women who live near to these Salafee centers to establish Da’wah groups distinct from the centers and Masaajid in their areas, in which the people are gathered upon good?
And what is your advice to the women who are the founders of these organizations?
Answer:
It is incumbent that they ask the men and not suffice with their (own) knowledge; because the knowledge of the women is deficient. They have to ask the men. When she has a problem then she must ask (the men) and when there is a matter which is common and easy which everyone knows, then she can speak regarding it. As for in cases of necessity in which there is a question then she is to ask a Shaykh and take from him; either by way of the telephone or when a Shaykh comes to them then she can ask him. The women may have distinct lessons, but it is a must that scholars supervise them, even if by way of the telephone. And they are to ask them.
However, the woman is not to suffice with herself; because the men have learned and are able to study and travel to the lands and that is not easy for the women. So it is a MUST that she refer to the men.
Perhaps she may say: “I am a Shaykhah!” Huh? You are a Shaykhah? You have studied?
You are (but) a student; a student of knowledge. Allaahul-Musta’aan. May Allaah bless you and may Allaah reward you with good. Questioner:
May Allaah give you life; may Allaah reward you, our Shaykh.
Shaykh Adds:
The Prophet (upon him be prayers and peace) said: “Convey from me, even if only one verse.” The woman may convey. If you know a verse; you understand it and you act upon it, then mention it to the people. Similarly for the woman; she may speak with it to the people.
HOWEVER, sitting and giving lessons all day and the people coming to her, she does not have the ability to do this. She has other more important matters; (such as) the children; the home; her husband; and so on. They are affairs which every woman knows their value. The role of the woman is great in the cultivation of the children; and Islaam has given her a great station; and that is remaining within the home; and she is (therein) an Ameerah! She cultivates the children upon good. However, she is not like the European woman, doing whatever she wants; no. All of it is within the limits of the Sharee’ah. And may Allaah bless you and reward you with good.
Shaykh Al-Fawzaan admonishes in one of his sermons:
Oh mankind know that righteous communities are built on righteous families and good houses; good houses are based upon the righteous wife, due to this it is obligatory for the Muslim that he chooses a righteous wife.
Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard
Soorah An-Nisaa’ Verse 34
Therefore the Muslim chooses the righteous wife for she is the foundation of the house and she is the cultivator for the offspring and she guards her offspring and husband.
(فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ)
i.e. she is obedient to Allah
(حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ)
: When her husband is away she preserves herself (chastity), his property and his children until he returns.
A dua of the slaves of Ar-Rahmaan (as mentioned in soorah Al Furqaan)
1. Being firm upon the truth is more difficult than knowing the truth.
