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Plural Marriage and Cousin Marriage: Two Previous Articles Combined into One Post

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Articles, Basics, Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Fatawa-Rulings, Featured, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Some of The Many Benefits of Plural Marriage For Those Who Can Do Justice and Are Financially Able- By Imam Ash-Shanqeetee and Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin- may Allah have mercy upon them

Allah, The Most High, said:

إِنَّ هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ

Verily, this Quran guides to that which is most just and right. [Al-Israa 9]

 

Imam Ash-Shanqeetee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

From the guidance of the Qur’an to that which is most just and right is that it allows (a man to marry) four wives. If the man fears that he cannot be just between them, he restricts himself to one or those whom his right hand possesses, as Allah said:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَٰثَ وَرُبَٰعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُكُمْ

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan- girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (those whom) that your right hands possess”. [An-Nisaa. 3]

No doubt the path that is most just and right is that which legitimises plural marriage (polygamy) due to perceptible matters known to every sensible person. And from those matters is that Allah made it a common phenomenon that men are fewer in number than women in the various regions of the world and are more often exposed to the causes of death in all walks of life. If a man were to be restricted to one wife, there would remain a great number of women deprived of marriage, so they (both men and women) will be strongly urged towards illegal sexual intercourse.

Therefore, turning away from the guidance of the Qur’an (in relation to) to this matter is one of the greatest causes of moral deprivation, degradation to the level of animals due to lack of safeguarding chastity, preservation of nobility, good moral conduct and manners. Glorified and Exalted is (Allah) above all that evil they associate with Him, the All-Wise, All-Aware of all things.

كِتَابٌ أُحْكِمَتْ آيَاتُهُ ثُمَّ فُصِّلَتْ مِن لَّدُنْ حَكِيمٍ خَبِيرٍ

(This is) a Book, the verses whereof are perfected (in every sphere of knowledge), and then explained in detail from One (Allah), Who is All-Wise, All-Aware of all things. [Hud 1]

No doubt the path that is the most just is that which legitimises plural marriage due to perceptible matters known to every sensible person. From those matters is that women are all readily prepared for marriage (i.e. when they reach the age of marriage and are not forced), whereas many men do not have the ability to fulfill the requirements of marriage due to poverty (i.e. because they are obligated to provide). Those prepared for marriage among men are fewer than among women. A woman is not hindered, whereas a man may be hindered by poverty.  If a man were restricted to one woman, many women prepared for marriage would have missed the opportunity for marriage. This would become a cause for loss of virtue, depravation and moral decadence, and the opportunity to preserve the human race would be lost.

If a man fears that he will not be able to deal justly between the wives, it is incumbent upon him to restrict himself to one or to those whom his right hand possesses because Allah has stated:

 إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone – Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allah, totally for Allah’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help, etc.)'[An-Nahl. 90]

It is impermissible to incline towards preferential (treatment) with regards to the Shariah rights (to be given to each of the wives), due to the saying of Allah:

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ  

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives – (with regards to what is hidden in your heart as to which of them is dearer to you although you love both) – even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married)’. [An-Nisaa. 129]

As for the natural inclination towards loving some of them more than others, the human being is incapable of preventing this because it is emotional and the soul’s desire. This is what is intended by Allah’s statement: “You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives”. [An-Nisaa. 129] [1]

 

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, was asked:

The questioner says: “Fadeelah Ash-Shaikh, what is your view on plural marriage and what is its condition?”

The Shaikh responded:

Our view regarding plural marriage due to what is therein with regards to having numerous offspring and the greater safeguard of chastity, it is better than limiting oneself to one wife. In most cases in societies, women are more than men, so they are in need of someone to safeguard their chastity.

If a man has one wife, he does good to one woman and teaches her from that which Allah has taught him regarding the issues of the Shariah. If he has two, goodness increases by teaching two, guiding and providing for them. If he has three, the good increases even more, and if he has four, it is even more. The more one has, the better and more virtuous the welfare that results from that. However, there has to be conditions.

The first condition is financial ability: (the wealth) to give as Mahr and provision for the wives. Second, physical ability:  the desire and strength such that he can fulfill what is obligated to him with regards to these wives. The third condition is being able to do justice: knows about himself that he is able to do justice between the new wife and the first wife. But if he fears for himself that he will not be just, then indeed, Allah, Blessed and Most High said: [فإن خفتم ألا تعدلوا فواحدة – But if you fear that you will not be just, then (marry only) one]- Meaning: Limit yourselves to one.[ ذلك أدنى ألا تعولوا – That is more suitable that you may not incline (to injustice)] [An-Nisaa 3]

In the situation of plural marriages, it is not befitting that a wife becomes vexed, grieved, and deals with her husband badly because he has married another (woman), for indeed, this is his right. She should exercise patience and seek reward from Allah for what has taken place and caused her discomfort. If she does this, Allah – The Mighty and Majestic – will help her bear this thing which she considers to be from the greatest calamities. Because of this, we hear that in some places – where plural marriage is a common thing for them (customary),  the first wife neither gives it much concern nor become upset or saddened when her husband marries a new wife. Therefore, the issue is based on custom (i.e. what is common, the norm). If in a country men are not accustomed to (or do not normally engage in) plural marriage, it is difficult for a woman; but if their custom is engagement in plural marriage, it is easier for her.

So, we say to the woman whose husband has married another wife: be patient and hope for reward from Allah, so that Allah aids you upon that and aids your husband to be just. And the husband has to be careful of committing injustice between the wives, for indeed the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family -in a statement of his – issued a threat of punishment to the one who does so, (saying): “Whoever has two wives and he inclines to one of them over the other, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides collapsed”.

It is incumbent upon him to be just between the wives in everything: in speaking, friendliness, cheerfulness, spending the night – in everything he is able to do. As for the love (concealed in his heart), this is something not under a person’s control- not obligated to him (to feel exactly the same way with regards to how much his heart loves one over the other). The hearts are in Allāh’s Hand, the Mighty and Majestic, and He turns them however He wills; but with regards to what he is able to fulfil, such as being just, it is incumbent upon him. [End of quote] [2] 

 

Marrying Close Relatives, Especially Cousins

Imam Abdul Aziz Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon him, was asked:

يا سماحة الشيخ

We have heard that indeed there is danger in marrying relatives as I want to marry off one of my children. Is there any hadith regarding this? May Allah reward you.

Answer: There is no danger therein. What is said (regarding this) is an error. There is no danger in marrying relatives, rather, it is good. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, married from his relatives. Umm Salamah was from his relatives, Aisha was from his relatives, and Umm Habiba was from his relatives. All of them are from Quraysh, all from his tribe. There is no harm in that. Ali married Fatimah, the daughter of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, who was the daughter of his cousin (i.e. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him). Uthman married the Prophet’s daughters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum (i.e. after of them died he married the other). Abu Al Aas Ibn Ar-Rabee married the Prophet’s fourth daughter, Zainab, and all of them were cousins. There is no harm in this. [3]

The Imam, may Allah have mercy upon him, was also asked: Some people would not marry the daughter of their uncle out of fear that the children might be born with deformities. Does this negate the perfection (completeness) of (one’s) belief in pure Islamic monotheism?

Answer: Many among the people of knowledge have clarified these matters , and that indeed a person should choose a suitable spouse for their offspring to the extent that some of the Fuqaha said: “The best is that one marries a non-relative, rather than the daughter of his uncle”. This is a mistake and it has no basis, whether it is the daughter of his paternal uncle or not the daughter of his paternal uncle, the daughter of his maternal uncle or not the daughter of his maternal uncle. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, married the daughter of his uncle.

But, one should examine (give thought or consideration) that if the woman comes from a family that is afflicted with hereditary defects, mental illness, or physical deformities, he should not marry (someone among) them from the angle of employing the means of precaution, because this could bring you hereditary (issues). Diseases can be passed down – by the will of Allah- to the child, the grandchild and the daughter’s child. If this (such and such) family is well-known to have hereditary diseases that affect the children, he should avoid (marrying into such family). And if nothing is known about the family (i.e. regarding hereditary diseases), he marries (someone) among them. These matters that are known – (through experience, observation etc) regarding what is passed down do occur. Due to this, scholars and physicians advise that one examines (pays attention) to these matters. [4]

[1] An Excerpt from Adwaa Al-Bayan. Tafseer Surah Al-Israa Verse 9

[2] Paraphrased from the following link: https://alathar.net/home/esound/index.php?op=codevi&coid=58048

[3]Paraphrased:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/8826/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%A8

[4]Paraphrased:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/2565/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%83-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%A8-%D8%AE%D8%B4%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B6

 

[2] Some of The Many Benefits of Plural Marriage

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, was asked:

The questioner says: “Fadeelah Ash-Shaikh, what is your view on plural marriage and what is its condition?”

The Shaikh responded:

Our view regarding plural marriage due to what is therein with regards to having numerous offspring and the greater safeguard of chastity, it is better than limiting oneself to one wife. In most cases in societies, women are more than men, so they are in need of someone to safeguard their chastity.

If a man has one wife, he does good to one woman and teaches her from that which Allah has taught him regarding the issues of the Shariah. If he has two, goodnes increases by teaching two, guiding and providing for them. If he has three, the good increases even more, and if he has four, it is even more. The more one has, the better and more virtuous the welfare that results from that. However, there has to be conditions.

The first condition is financial ability: (the wealth) to give as Mahr and provision for the wives.

Second, physical ability:  the desire and strength such that he can fulfill what is obligated to him with regards to these wives.

The third condition is being able to do justice: knows about himself that he is able to do justice between the new wife and the first wife. But if he fears for himself that he will not be just, then indeed, Allah, Blessed and Most High said:

فإن خفتم ألا تعدلوا فواحدة

But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one. [An-Nisaa 3]- Meaning: Limit yourselves to one;

ذلك أدنى ألا تعولوا

That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]. [An-Nisaa 3]

In the situation of plural marriages, it is not befitting that a wife becomes vexed, grieved, and deals with her husband badly because he has married another (woman), for indeed, this is his right. She should exercise patience and seek reward from Allah for what has taken place and caused her discomfort. If she does this, Allah – The Mighty and Majestic – will help her bear this thing which she considers to be from the greatest calamities.

Because of this, we hear that in some places – where plural marriage is a common thing for them (customary),  the first wife neither gives it much concern nor become upset or saddened when her husband marries a new wife.

Therefore, the issue is based on custom (i.e. what is common, the norm). If in a country men are not accustomed to (or do not normally engage in) plural marriage, it is difficult for a woman; but if their custom is engagement in plural marriage, it is easier for her.

So, we say to the woman whose husband has married another wife: be patient and hope for reward from Allah, so that Allah aids you upon that and aids your husband to be just.

And the husband has to be careful of committing injustice between the wives, for indeed the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family -in a statement of his – issued a threat of punishment to the one who does so, (saying):

“Whoever has two wives and he inclines to one of them over the other, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides collapsed”.

It is incumbent upon him to be just between the wives in everything: in speaking, friendliness, cheerfulness, spending the night – in everything he is able to do.

As for the love (concealed in his heart), this is something not under a person’s control- not obligated to him (to feel exactly the same way with regards to how much his heart loves one over the other). The hearts are in Allāh’s Hand, the Mighty and Majestic, and He turns them however He wills; but with regards to what he is able to fulfil, such as being just, it is incumbent upon him. [End of quote]

Paraphrased from the following link:

https://alathar.net/home/esound/index.php?op=codevi&coid=58048

NB: Someone wonders and says: “Why this topic in Ramadan?”

Response:

Firstly, what should prevent us from discussing any topic of the religion in Ramadan?! The Qur’an, as well as the Sunnah, details this matter.

Secondly, we find that some people back home, due to being greatly influenced by foreign ideas, have suddenly started uttering absolute nonsense regarding plural marriage. So, when this topic is discussed, it is not that we are addressing specific people engaged in plural marriage in the West, rather, this paraphrased translation is primarily addressed to people from our countries in the Muslim lands where our grandparents, parents and many other relatives – to this day – engage in plural marriages. When we suddenly hear some men and women back home – due to foreign influence – speaking about this matter without knowledge and justice, we must clarify -from the clarifications of the scholars – this matter whether inside or outside of Ramadan. Therefore, instead of seeking to bring ambiguity in this matter, the right thing a sensible person should do is to return to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger.

 

[1] Some of The Many Benefits of Plural Marriage

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Articles, Contemporary Issues, Da'wah - Calling To Islam, Family & Women, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Qur'aan, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Some of The Many Benefits of Plural Marriage For Those Who Can Do Justice and Are Financially Able

Allah, The Most High, said:

إِنَّ هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ

Verily, this Quran guides to that which is most just and right. [Al-Israa 9]

Imam Ash-Shanqeetee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

From the guidance of the Qur’an to that which is most just and right is that it allows (a man to marry) four wives. If the man fears that he cannot be just between them, he restricts himself to one or those whom his right hand possesses, as Allah said:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَٰثَ وَرُبَٰعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُكُمْ

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan- girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (those whom) that your right hands possess”. [An-Nisaa. 3]

No doubt the path that is most just and right is that which legitimises plural marriage (polygamy) due to perceptible matters known to every sensible person. And from those matters is that Allah made it a common phenomenon that men are fewer in number than women in the various regions of the world and are more often exposed to the causes of death in all walks of life. If a man were to be restricted to one wife, there would remain a great number of women deprived of marriage, so they (both men and women) will be strongly urged towards illegal sexual intercourse.

Therefore, turning away from the guidance of the Qur’an (in relation to) to this matter is one of the greatest causes of moral deprivation, degradation to the level of animals due to lack of safeguarding chastity, preservation of nobility, good moral conduct and manners.

Glorified and Exalted is (Allah) above all that evil they associate with Him, the All-Wise, All-Aware of all things.

كِتَابٌ أُحْكِمَتْ آيَاتُهُ ثُمَّ فُصِّلَتْ مِن لَّدُنْ حَكِيمٍ خَبِيرٍ

(This is) a Book, the verses whereof are perfected (in every sphere of knowledge), and then explained in detail from One (Allaah), Who is All-Wise, All-Aware of all things. [Hud 1]

No doubt the path that is the most just is that which legitimises plural marriage due to perceptible matters known to every sensible person. From those matters is that women are all readily prepared for marriage (i.e. when they reach the age of marriage and are not forced), whereas many men do not have the ability to fulfill the requirements of marriage due to poverty (i.e. because they are obligated to provide). Those prepared for marriage among men are fewer than among women. A woman is not hindered, whereas a man may be hindered by poverty.  If a man were restricted to one woman, many women prepared for marriage would have missed the opportunity for marriage. This would become a cause for loss of virtue, depravation and moral decadence, and the opportunity to preserve the human race would be lost.

If a man fears that he will not be able to deal justly between the wives, it is incumbent upon him to restrict himself to one or to those whom his right hand possesses because Allah has stated:

 إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Verily, Allaah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allaah Alone – Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsaan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allaah, totally for Allaah’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allaah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help, etc.)'[An-Nahl. 90]

It is impermissible to incline towards preferential (treatment) with regards to the Shariah rights (to be given to each of the wives), due to the saying of Allah:

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ  

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives – (with regards to what is hidden in your heart as to which of them is dearer to you although you love both) – even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married)’. [An-Nisaa. 129]

As for the natural inclination towards loving some of them more than others, the human being is incapable of preventing this because it is emotional and the soul’s desire. This is what is intended by Allah’s statement: “You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives”. [An-Nisaa. 129]

[1] An Excerpt from Adwaa Al-Bayan. Tafseer Surah Al-Israa Verse 9

pink and white lotus flower

Opinionated beauty standards

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Articles, Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Fitnah, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Purification of The Soul.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

The Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

A woman is married for four (reasons); her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should take possession of the one with Religion, otherwise you will be a loser”. [Al-Bukhari 5090]

Imam Abdul Aziz Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon her, said:

 فليكن همك الوحيد هو صلاح دينها، فإذا كان مع ذلك جمال ومال وحسب؛ فهذا خير إلى خير، طيب، لكن لا يكون همك الجمال، أو المال، أو الحسب، لا. فليكن أكبر الهم، وأعظم القصد صلاح الدين، واستقامة الأخلاق، تسأل عنها الخبيرين بها، فإذا كانت ذات دين، بعيدة عن التبرج، وعن أسباب الفتنة، محافظة على الصلاة في أوقاتها؛ فاقرب منها، وإذا كانت بخلاف ذلك؛ فاتركها، المهم أن العناية الكبرى تكون بالدين، نعم.

Your only concern should be the righteousness of her religion. If beauty, wealth, and noble lineage accompany that, then this is goodness added to goodness. But let not beauty, wealth, or family status be your foremost concern.

Your greatest concern and objective should be the righteousness of her religion and steadfast moral character. Ask those who know her well about these matters. If she is a woman with sound religious practice, far removed from Tabarruj and the causes of temptation, and she observes her prayers at their prescribed times, then incline toward her. But if she is the opposite, leave her. What is important is that religion should be your greatest concern. [1]

Some women complain about the opinionated beauty standards that burden women- cheekbones, slim, angular faces with big features, fat-freezing cosmetic procedure etc. The women who blindly follow this path are regarded beautiful and attractive, regardless whether they are righteous or not; rather as long as they are considered more attractive based on what a group of women exploiters consider to be the beauty standard, they are given an advantage – Pretty Privilege!!! Indeed, the upright scholars have spoken about this matter and warned against it. Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

Women are portrayed as if they are mere images- pictures people attach no importance to except that which is connected to the woman’s figure (outward appearance). See how they have decorated and beautified her! See how they have brought about beautifications for her and presented her in a desirable condition, in relation to hair, skin, legs, arms, face and everything else, until they make it the most important thing for the woman, like a picture made out of plastic. They neither present to her the importance of establishing worship nor bearing children. [2]

Al-Allamah Khalil Al-Harras, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated in his Sharh An-Nooniyyah:

After Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, described the beauty and perfection of the women of Paradise so that one is drawn towards them, he warned against being deceived by the evil women of this worldly life- those who are deprived of every excellent trait. They are neither perfect in their physical appearances nor do they possess good deeds.

How can one be deceived by a woman who possesses ugly manners and is untrustworthy! How can one be deceived by a woman who neither fulfills her obligations nor does she possess patience! How can one be deceived by a woman who is neither contented nor is she obedient and humble, and her deeds are ugly! Rather she is a female devil disguised in the image of a human, thus, she deceives the despicable and depraved people who desire her because they are similar to her and are ready to obey her.

As for the people of virtue, she neither wants nor desires them because there are no similarities between her and them. She is deprived of everything that directs her towards good and prevents her from evil. She neither possesses the correct way of life ordained by Allah and a sound moral intellect nor does she possess good manners and fear of Allah. She does not possess natural beauty, rather her beauty is a falsified one that emanates from cosmetics. And when she leaves that beautification and embellishment, the defects on her becomes apparent and she is deprived of everything that makes a person desirous of her. She is characterised with betrayal- neither grateful for good companionship nor does she preserve and fulfill its rights.

Her beauty is a thin shell and underneath it are defects and ugly affairs. Her beauty resembles a fake coin plated with gold or silver, which one may consider to be a real gold or silver coin; but this counterfeit cannot be circulated amongst the money changers even though many people are deceived by it. [3]

Be Warned Against Extremist Women

Imaam Adh-Dhahabee, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated that Salamah Bin Alqamah relates from Ibn Seereen, may Allah have mercy upon him, who said, “Imran Ibn Hattaan married a kharijiyyah (a female khaarijite) and said, ‘I will bring her back’ (i.e. make her leave her misguidance). Ibn Seereen said, ‘However, she converted him to her way'”. [4]

[1]https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/9619/%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%8A-%D9%8A%D9%82%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%A8%D9%87%D8%A7 paraphrased

[2]An Excerpt from this lecture:

https://safeshare.tv/x/fKxP_Mt7o9w# https://youtu.be/fKxP_Mt7o9w

[3] Sharh Al-Qaseedah An-Nooniyyah 2/738-739

[4] Siyar Alam An-Nubulaa 4/214

Recognising The Greater Good in One’s Wife and Understanding Her Feelings

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Featured, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Qur'aan, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allah, The Most High, said:

فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا

If you dislike them (i.e. your wives due to something you see in them), it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. [An-Nisaa 19]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

A person (man) may dislike a woman due to a trait of hers, while there is a great deal of goodness in keeping her and he does not know it. He may love a woman due to a trait of her traits, while in keeping her there is much evil and he does not know it. The human being is as he has been described by his Creator: “Verily, he (man) was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results).” [Al-Ahzab 72]

Therefore, it is not befitting that he places his inclination, love, aversion, and hatred as a measure for that which harms or benefits him. Rather, the measure is that which Allah has selected for him of commandments and prohibitions. The most beneficial things for him — without exception — are obedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly, and the most harmful — without exception — is disobedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly. If he embarks upon sincere obedience and servitude to Him, all that he encounters from that which he hates is better for him. And if he withdraws from obedience and servitude to Allah, all that is in what he loves is bad for him.

Therefore, whoever has sound knowledge regarding his Lord and an understanding of His Names and Attributes knows with certainty that there are great benefits and useful things in those hated things that afflict him and trials that befall him, which he cannot enumerate through his knowledge and contemplation. Rather, the great benefits for a slave (of Allah) are greater in that which he hates than in what he loves. In general, the beneficial things for the souls are found in what they hate, just as the harmful things for the souls and the causes for their destruction are in what they love. [1]

The Importance of Knowing One’s Wife

Aa’isha narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her: “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me”. I said, “When do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad’, but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim’. Thereupon I said, ‘Yes, (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name'”.

Benefits From This Hadeeth:

A man’s thorough observation regarding the state of a woman due to her action, speech, inclination or lack of inclination towards him based on indications, because the Prophet firmly determined Aa’iSha’s happiness or anger merely when she mentioned or refrain from mentioning his name; therefore, he judged the two situations based on the mention or the absence of a mention of his name as an indication of happiness or anger. It can also be definitely the case that there is something more explicit regarding this affair, but he did not say it.

And regarding the statement of Aa’Isha’s “Yes (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name”. At-Teebee said, “This is a very subtle way of making an exception, because she related that when she is in a state of anger – a state in which a sane person loses his senses by choice, her affirmed love for the Messenger does not change.

Ibn Al-Muneer said, “What Aa’isha intended is that she left out the wording of the Prophet’s name but her heart’s pure love and affection towards the noble person of the Prophet does not leave her”.

And with regards to the choice Aa’Isha, may Allah be pleased with her, made to use Ibrahim’s, peace be upon him, name instead of the other Prophet’s, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, this is proof regarding her intelligence, because the Prophet is the one with the best claim to Ibrahim just as Allah stated in the Qur’an. Therefore, when she had no other way of leaving a noble name, she replaced it with the name of someone who is from the one whose name she left out, so that her heart does not exit the boundaries of that attachment.  [2]

[1] An Excerpt from “Al-Fawaa’d pages 145-148. slightly paraphrased

[2] An Excerpt from Fath Al-Bari Sharh Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadeeth 5228. Vol 9. pages 404- 405. Darus Salam Print.

A Balanced Approach to Marriage Between Relatives and Hereditary Diseases

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Articles, Basics, Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Fatawa-Rulings, Featured, Islamic Jurisprudence - 'Fiqh', Marriage (Nikkah), Mental Health, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Imam Abdul Aziz Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon him, was asked:

يا سماحة الشيخ

We have heard that indeed there is danger in marrying relatives as I want to marry off one of my children. Is there any hadith regarding this? May Allah reward you.

Answer: There is no danger therein. What is said (regarding this) is an error. There is no danger in marrying relatives, rather, it is good. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, married from his relatives. Umm Salamah was from his relatives, Aisha was from his relatives, and Umm Habiba was from his relatives. All of them are from Quraysh, all from his tribe. There is no harm in that. Ali married Fatimah, the daughter of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, who was the daughter of his cousin (i.e. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him). Uthman married the Prophet’s daughters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum (i.e. after of them died he married the other). Abu Al Aas Ibn Ar-Rabee married the Prophet’s fourth daughter, Zainab, and all of them were cousins. There is no harm in this. [1]

The Imam, may Allah have mercy upon him, was also asked: Some people would not marry the daughter of their uncle out of fear that the children might be born with deformities. Does this negate the perfection (completeness) of (one’s) belief in pure Islamic monotheism?

Answer: Many among the people of knowledge have clarified these matters , and that indeed a person should choose a suitable spouse for their offspring to the extent that some of the Fuqaha said: “The best is that one marries a non-relative, rather than the daughter of his uncle”. This is a mistake and it has no basis, whether it is the daughter of his paternal uncle or not the daughter of his paternal uncle, the daughter of his maternal uncle or not the daughter of his maternal uncle. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, married the daughter of his uncle.

But, one should examine (give thought or consideration) that if the woman comes from a family that is afflicted with hereditary defects, mental illness, or physical deformities, he should not marry (someone among) them from the angle of employing the means of precaution, because this could bring you hereditary (issues). Diseases can be passed down – by the will of Allah- to the child, the grandchild and the daughter’s child. If this (such and such) family is well-known to have hereditary diseases that affect the children, he should avoid (marrying into such family). And if nothing is known about the family (i.e. regarding hereditary diseases), he marries (someone) among them. These matters that are known – (through experience, observation etc) regarding what is passed down do occur. Due to this, scholars and physicians advise that one examines (pays attention) to these matters. [2]

[1]Paraphrased:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/8826/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%A8

[2]Paraphrased:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/2565/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%83-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%A8-%D8%AE%D8%B4%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B6

[1] Dialogue With Anyone Using Customs or Changing Times to Alter Muslim Spousal Roles

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Fatawa-Rulings, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Purification of The Soul, Refutations, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

The First Admonition and Clarification

Imam Abdul Azeez Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

“It is obligated to every Muslim that he does not depend on custom; rather he presents it to the pure Islamic legislation, so whatever the Islamic legislation affirms is permissible and whatever it does not affirm is impermissible. The customs of the people are not proof to determine the lawfulness of anything. All the customs of the people in their countries or tribes must be presented to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, for judgement, then whatever Allah and His Messenger made permissible is permissible, and whatever they forbid, it is obligatory to abandon it even if it is the custom of the people”. [1]

The Imam, may Allah have mercy upon him, also said:

“Let every Muslim be careful of being deceived by the great numbers, whilst saying, “Indeed, the people have become such and such, and have become accustomed to such and such, so I am with them”. This is a great calamity, for indeed many people of the past were destroyed due to this. Therefore, O sensible one! It is obligated to you to examine yourself, take account of yourself and adhere to the truth, even if the people abandon it. Beware of what Allah has forbidden, even if the people do it, for indeed the truth is more worthy of being followed, just as Allah, The Most High, said: [وَإِنْ تُطِعْ أَكْثَرَ مَنْ فِي الْأَرْضِ يُضِلُّوكَ عَنْ سَبِيلِ اللَّه ِ -And if you obey most of those on earth, they will mislead you far away from Allah’s Path. [Surah Al An’am Ayah 116]

And Allah, The Most High, said: [ وَمَآ أَڪۡثَرُ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلَوۡ حَرَصۡتَ بِمُؤۡمِنِينَ-And most of mankind will not believe even if you desire it eagerly]. [Surah Yusuf Ayah 103] [2]

Al-Allamah Muqbil Bin Haadee Al-Wadi’ee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

If numbers are the scale through which you judge, then the majority are mostly blameworthy; and if persuasive speech and eloquence is the scale through which you judge, then indeed Allah described the Munaafiqoon that they have tongues that utter beautiful speech. Allah said: [وَإِن يَقُولُواْ تَسۡمَعۡ لِقَوۡلِهِمۡ – And when they speak, you listen to their words]. [Surah Al-Munaafiqoon. Ayah 4]

Therefore, what is given consideration is that one knows the people of truth by their characteristics – that they call to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, his family, and companions, and they neither desire reward from the people nor seeking to be thanked. [3]

To be continued InShaAllah

[1] Majmu Al-Fataawaa 6/510

[2] An Excerpt from ‘Majmu Al-Fataawaa 12/ 412-416

[3] قم المعاند – 2/547

Insights From a Famous Hadith of Hudaifah – By Allamah Salih Al-Fawzan

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Aqeedah, Aqeedah (Creed & Belief), Basics, Bid'ah (Innovation), Brotherhood, Contemporary Issues, Da'wah - Calling To Islam, Death, Featured, Fitnah, History of Islam, Innovations In Islam (Bidah), Jahannam (Hell Fire), Jannah (Paradise), Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Monotheism - Tawheed, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Qur'aan, Refutations, Repentance, Sahaabah, Salaf As Saalih (Pious Predecessors), Scholars of Islam, Seeking Knowledge, Shirk, Sin, The Salaf - Pious Predecessors, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Al-Allamah Salih Al-Fawzan, may Allah preserve him, said:

All praise and thanks be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allāh’s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions.  To proceed: Indeed, the hadith that will be addressed – in this lecture – is the hadith of Hudhaifah Bin Al-Yaman, may Allah be pleased with him. He said: 

People used to ask Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, about the good times, but I used to ask him about bad times fearing lest they overtake me.  I said, “O Messenger of Allah! We were in a state of pre-Islamic ignorance and evil, and then Allah brought us this good (time through Islam), is there any evil time after this good one?” He said, “Yes” I asked, “Will there be a good time again after that evil?” He said, “Yes, but therein will be a hidden evil”. I asked, “What will be the evil hidden therein?” He said, “People who will follow ways other than mine and seek guidance other than mine. You will know (their) good points as well as (their) bad points”. I asked, “Will there be an evil time after this good one?” He said, “Yes, when there will be people standing and inviting at the gates of Hell. Whosoever responds to their call they will throw them into the fire”. I said, “O Messenger of Allah! Describe them for us”. He said, “They will be a people having the same complexion as ours and speaking our language”. I said, “O Messenger of Allah! What would you suggest if I happened to live in that time?” He said, “You should stick to the main body of the Muslims and their leader”. I said, “If they have no main body and no leader?” He said, “Separate yourself from all these factions, though you may have to eat the roots of trees (in a jungle) until death comes to you and you are in this state”. [Bukhari and Muslim…. The wording of the above is that of Imam Muslim]

PDF Link

Lesson_From_a_Famous_Hadith of Hudaifah_By Mufti_Al_Allamah_Salih Al_Fawzan

 

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, But Marriage Thrives Through Affection…

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder, But Marriage Thrives Through Affection, and Compassion Within The Boundaries of Obedience to Allah—Not Lust

Looking at The One Proposed For Marriage

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him] said, “I was with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansar. Allah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No’. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because there is something in the eyes of the Ansar’”. [Sahih Muslim. Number 1424]

Regarding the statement, “Because there is something in the eyes of the Ansar”, Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “It is said that the intent behind this is Small-eyed and it is said that it is Bleary-eyed”. (1)

Mughirah Bin Shubah, may Allah be pleased with him] said, “I came to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and told him of a woman to whom I had to propose marriage. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.’ So, I went to a woman among the Ansar and proposed marriage through her parents. I told them what the Prophet had said, and it was as if they did not like that. Then I heard that woman behind her curtain, saying, ‘If the Messenger of Allah has told you to do that, then do it, otherwise I adjure you by Allah (not to do so)’. And it was as if she regarded that as a serious matter. So I looked at her and married her.” And he (Mugheerah) mentioned how well he got along with her. (2)

After seeing the one you want to marry and decide to go ahead because she is beautiful in your eyes as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then ask Allah sincerely to place genuine love, compassion, mercy and respect between you, as Allah, The Most High, said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Ar-Rum. 21]

Allah, The Exalted, said: [وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا – And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious]. [Al-Furqaan. 74]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: They ask Allah to grant them the comfort of the eye by making their wives and offspring obedient to Allah, and to grant them happiness in their hearts due to being followed by the righteous in obedience and servitude to Allah. That is because a trustworthy leader in the religion co-operates upon obedience (to Allah and His Messenger), and that is to call to (sound) leadership in the religion, whose foundation is patience and certainty, as Allah [The Most High] said:

[ وَجَعَلۡنَا مِنۡہُمۡ أَٮِٕمَّةً۬ يَہۡدُونَ بِأَمۡرِنَا لَمَّا صَبَرُواْ‌ۖ وَڪَانُواْ بِـَٔايَـٰتِنَا يُوقِنُونَ – And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). Therefore, in their supplication -[in Surah Al-Furqan Ayah 74]- to Allah that He makes them leaders of the righteous people, is that Allah guides them, grants them success, bless them with beneficial knowledge and righteous actions- outwardly and inwardly – without which (sound) leadership in the religion cannot be achieved”. (3)

Marriage is not lust and the woman is not just pleasure and enjoyment – By Al-Allamah Abdul Azeez Aala Shaikh- may Allah have mercy upon him.

The noble Sheikh, the Mufti of the committee of major scholars in Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Abdul Aziz ibn Abdullah Aali Shaikh declared that marriage is not just about lust and fulfilling the desires rather it is security and living together and stability.

And the noble Sheikh said: Some of the Muslims have an incorrect understanding about marriage, understanding it in a way other than its reality. Some of them have an understanding that marriage is simply about fulfilling their desires, so although they might implement the legislated marriage contract, their intention with this marriage is not stability nor commitment rather he marries and in himself he is planning to divorce her, meaning he knows in himself that he will marry her for a specific time period even if he does not mention this or disclose this.

So he marries her due to his desire for her not to have serenity and peace of mind with her, but he only counts her as just a simple pleasure; so he’s always on the verge of divorcing her and bringing in someone other than her. So he is a husband and at the same time he mixes this with the intention of divorce. And he does not want from the woman anything other than pleasure.

This is deception to the woman and dishonesty and misleading her; and if a man came to his daughter or his sister and he knew that he did not want her except for this purpose he would not allow him to marry her, but when it comes to other peoples daughters he does whatever he wants.

And all of this is from deception and dishonesty and fraud and betrayal. And for this reason Islam has prohibited temporary marriage; and this is to marry for an estimated number of days for an agreed upon specific duration. Therefore this was made impermissible due to the harms that it contains.

And the Sheikh said: So what the person does not like for his daughters then he should not like it for the daughters of the Muslims.

And the Sheikh said: And some of the people might travel to places in order to find marriage for a specific number of days or months and he thinks this is a marriage contract and all of this is trivial to him, so he falls into sin.

And there are some who marry a number of women before (the other women he divorced) finish their waiting period. So he will merge the marriage to more than ten women in one month without any concern for the Islamic legislated contract.

And the Mufti said: The Muslim must have good judgment and he should not let his goal be to fulfill his desire in a way that is not in accordance with the Islamic legislation. And he must adorn himself with the manners of Islam, and he must look at other peoples daughters just like he looks at his own daughters and his own sisters, and he should put people in the position that he likes to be in.

Therefore if the person believes it allowable to do evil to the daughters of others and to not comply with the Islamic standard and then he does not want this same evil for his daughters; then why this discrepancy? Where is the balance, where is the justice?

Unfortunately, there are some Muslims who make permissible that which Allah has made impermissible so in a matter of days they marry a number of women, all with the intention of divorce, seeking by this to gain some benefit (from the wife) in the summer or the winter or other than this, and Islam prohibits this. Therefore Islam wants for us to be well-balanced in our contracts and to put others in the position of our daughters and our sisters and to be truthful in our dealings.

And the Sheikh said: And some of them go and travel and get married against the normal system and then they fall into sin or serious situations and perhaps they might abandon their wives or leave them and not return to them after they have become pregnant or given birth to his child, so this exposes the Muslim descendants to danger. And some of them don’t care about their wives or their children so major problems occur as a result of this treacherous marriage. (4)

The Perils of Unrestrained Desires

Imam Ibn Al-Jawzi, may Allah have mercy upon him] said: know that (unrestrained or forbidden) desires urges a person towards immediate pleasures without him pondering upon its evil consequences- urges him towards short-lived pleasures, even though it is a cause of pain and harm in this life and a barrier to pleasure in the afterlife. As for a sensible person, he keeps away from pleasures whose result will be pain and those desires whose end result will be regret. This is enough as praise regarding what sound intellect necessitates and a rebuke against uncontrolled desires.

A sensible person should know that those who are addicted to lowly desires reach a state in which they no longer enjoy themselves, but at the same time they are unable to abandon those desires, because it becomes as if it is a necessity of life. And due to this, you’ll find that alcoholics and sex addicts do not even enjoy a tenth of those desires, but they put themselves in a perilous situation that compels them to keep on returning to the act. However, if- based on clear-sightedness- the (false) beautification of those lowly desires cease, a person realise that he has exposed himself to some ruin that is contrary to wellbeing, a situation of grief instead of happiness, whilst seeking after pleasure; so, he resembles an animal that was led to a trap- neither reached the thing that was utilised to lure it into the trap nor is it able to escape. A person should ponder upon the fact that a human being was not created to fulfil desires; rather he was facilitated (with sound knowledge based on the divine revelation and uncorrupted perception) to reflect on the consequences of his actions and perform righteous deeds for the Afterlife. An animal receives pleasure through eating, drinking and sex much more than a human being, whilst living a life devoid of reflection and concern. Therefore, it is drawn towards its desires due to being ignorant of the outcomes of its actions (i.e. it does not possess the knowledge given to humans through sound reasoning and reflection guided by the divine revelation). (5)

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him] said: Whoever is given strength and facilitated (with the means) to something, his pleasure will be found in utilising that strength. Whoever is granted the strength to have sexual relations, he will find pleasure in utilising his strength in it. Whoever is given strength to become angry and overcome (others), he will utilise the strength of his anger to (obtain what he desires). Whoever is given the strength to eat and drink, his pleasure will be found in utilising his strength in (eating and drinking). Whoever is given the strength to (pursue) knowledge and understanding, his pleasure will be found in utilising his strength and directing it towards knowledge. Whoever is given strength in (having) love for Allah, turning to Allah in repentance, submission and obedience, being devoted to Allah (sincerely with one’s) heart, having an ardent desire (to please, obey and meet Allah) and (desiring to come close to Allah, be recognised and loved by Allah etc), he will find his pleasure and bliss in utilising this strength in that. All these pleasures will dwindle and disappear, except this one (i.e. love of Allah etc). (6)

[Ref 1: Sharh Saheeh Muslim. Vol 9. page 179. Publisher. Dar Kutub Al-Ilmiyyah. 1st Edition 1421AH (Year 2000)]

[Ref 2: Saheeh Ibn Maajah 1866]

[Ref 3: An Excerpt from ‘Ar-Rooh’ pages 487-489. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 4: http://www.salafitalk.net/st/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=29&Topic=6408

[Ref 5: An Excerpt from Dhammul Hawaa’ pages 36-38. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 6: Al-Fawaa’id 121-122. Slightly paraphrased]

Few words from a spouse can mean a lot!

Written by Salafi Dawah Manchester on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Marriage (Nikkah), Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

I thank Allah for all the blessings in my life, and you are among the most cherished of those gifts—a steadfast and loyal spouse. You are the other parent of my dear children and a constant source of support through both joyful and challenging times, by Allah’s grace. Like a vibrant tree, you have nurtured our family with deep roots that unite us all. In your comforting presence, I find determination when facing challenges and a moment of reassurance by the Tawfiq of Allah. I ask Allah the Almighty to bestow His mercy and blessings upon you, my devoted companion and friend. I also ask Allah to shield us from the schemes of shaytan, who relentlessly tries to disrupt the bond between those who love each other for His sake… Aameen.