Exemplary conduct of a compassionate and humble advisor
In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
Allah, The Exalted, said in Surah Hud verse 88 that Prophet Shu’aib, peace be upon him, said to his people:
[يَا قَوْمِ أَرَأَيْتُمْ إِن كُنتُ عَلَىٰ بَيِّنَةٍ مِّن رَّبِّي – O my people! Tell me, if I have a clear evidence from my Lord]- Meaning: I am upon certainty and tranquility regarding the correctness of (the Message) I have brought. [وَرَزَقَنِي مِنْهُ رِزْقًا حَسَنًا – and He (Allah) has given me a good sustenance from Himself]- Meaning: Allah has given me various types of wealth.
[وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أُخَالِفَكُمْ إِلَىٰ مَا أَنْهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ – I wish not, in contradiction to you, to do that which I forbid you]- Meaning: I do not wish to forbid you, yet I myself do the same and eventually you will charge me for doing so, instead I will not forbid you from a matter except that I will be the first person to hasten to abandon it. [إِنْ أُرِيدُ إِلَّا الْإِصْلَاحَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ – I only desire reform so far as I am able, to the best of my power]- Meaning: I do not have any other intentions other than to rectify your circumtances and the things that are of benefit to you. Because this statement of Prophet Shu’aib, peace be upon him, contains something that may indicate attributing piety to himself, he repels it with the statement:
[وَمَا تَوْفِيقِي إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ – And my guidance cannot come except from Allah]-Meaning: The ability I have to do good and to refrain from evil is a bestowal from Allah [The Most High] and it is neither due to my strength nor power.
[عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَإِلَيْهِ أُنِيبُ – in Him I trust and unto Him I repent]- Meaning: I rely on Allah in all my affairs and suffice myself with Him. I turn to Allah in all types of worship (through which) He has commanded me to draw close to Him by performing good deeds. Through these two matters- seeking aid and assistance from Allah, turning to Him in repentance, complete submission and obedience- a person’s circumstances become upright, as Allah [The Most High] said in another verse: [فَاعْبُدْهُ وَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَيْهِ– So worship Him (O Muhammad) and put your trust in Him]. [1]
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:
The distinction between advice and reprimand (without right) is that advice is kind treatment towards the recipient with mercy, compassion, and protective jealousy for him. It is pure kindness that stems from mercy and tenderness, with the advisor seeking Allah’s Face and Pleasure, and kind treatment towards Allah’s creation. He approaches the task with utmost gentleness, enduring the harm and blame of the one being advised, while dealing with him in a manner akin to a knowledgeable and caring physician tending to a seriously ill patient. He endures the patient’s bad manners, ill-temper, and aversion, while being gentle in his pursuit to administer the remedy in every manner possible. This is the affair of the advisor. As for the one reprimanding (without right), he is a man whose aim is to reprimand, belittle, and dispraise the one he reprimands in the image of advice. He may say, “O you who have done such and such; O you who deserve dispraise and humiliation,” portrayed in the image of a compassionate advisor. A sign of this (behaviour) is that if he were to witness someone he loves and would show kindness engaging in similar or worse actions, he would neither confront nor say anything to him, and he would seek excuses for him. If overwhelmed, he might say, “Which one of us is guaranteed infallibility from error. The human being is prone to error? His (i.e. the person he seeks excuses for) good deeds outweigh his faults, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”. It is indeed perplexing how such is afforded to the one he loves and not for the one he hates. One of the distinctions between an advisor and a reprimander (without right) is that the advisor does not hold animosity towards you if you choose not to accept his advice. He says: “The reward (for the advice) may be attained from Allah whether he (the recipient) accepts or not”, and supplicates for you in your absence. Neither mentions your flaws nor exposes them to the people, while the one reprimanding (without right) is the opposite. [2]
Al-Allamah Rabee Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali, may Allah preserve him, said:
We are with the truth. We do not accept mistakes, even from scholars of the Sunnah. We accept the truth, but not (reject mistake) through foolish (behaviour), recklessness, or hostility; instead (should be done) with etiquette, respect, truthfulness and sincerity. [3]
We ask Allah: [اللهم كما حَسَّنْت خَلْقِي فَحَسِّنْ خُلُقِي – O Allah! Just as You made my external form beautiful, make my character beautiful as well]. [4]
[1] An excerpt from Tafsir As-Sadi
[2] Ar-Ruh 257-258
[3] Majmu 15/230]
[4] https://salafidawahmanchester.com/2021/07/31/o-allah-just-as-you-made-my-external-form-beautiful-make-my-character-beautiful-as-well/