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Some etiquettes with the wife when returning home

Written by Abdullah Jallow on . Posted in Basics, Family & Women, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Scholars of Islam, Uncategorized, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Once Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him, was returning from an expedition with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and he was riding fast in order to get home as he was newlywed, so the Prophet told him to slow down in order to give the women time to prepare themselves. Jabir said, “When we were about to enter (Al-Madinah), the Prophet said, ‘Wait so that you may enter in the afternoon so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic region'”. [1]

Al-Allamah Salih Al-Fawzan, may Allah preserve him, said:

It is disliked to enter (i.e. the house) without seeking permission and giving salam, especially when returning from a journey. One should not come to his family and his wife unless they are aware of his entry, so that they may prepare themselves. He should not come to her suddenly, whilst she is in a state [i.e. physical appearance, clothing etc] in which she does not like her husband to see her. [2]

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Travelling is a portion of torment. It prevents one of you from your sleep, food, and drink. So when one of you fulfils his (need behind that travelling), then let him hurry back to his family” . [Muslim 1927]

Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: One is prevented from full sleep and its full enjoyment due (to) difficulties, tiredness, heat and cold, worries, fear, isolation from one family and rough (circumstances). Therefore, it is recommended that one returns to his family after fulfilling his business and does not delay his return due to something else  that is not important. [3]

[1]Al-Bukhari 5079]

[2] An Excerpt from It’haf at-Tullab Bi-Sharh Mandhoomah Al-Aadab. page 144

[3] An Excerpt from ‘Saheeh Muslim Bi-Sharh An-Nawawi 13/60. Publisher: Dar Al-Kotob Al-Ilmiyyah’ 1st edition 1421AH (Year 2000)