[8] Determinants of Wholesome Relationships

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

The Exemplary Behaviour of Our Salaf As-Salih [Pious Predecessors] During Disagreement

Rabee’ah Al-Aslami [may Allah be pleased with him] narrated: I used to serve Allah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him], so he gave me a piece of land and gave Abu Bakr [may Allah be pleased with him] a piece of land. Then, the worldly life came and we argued over a bunch of palm trees, so Abu Bakr said, ‘It is in my piece of land’ and I said, ‘It is in my piece of land’. There was an exchange of words between Abu Bakr and myself, so Abu Bakr said something to me that I disliked, and he regretted that. He said to me, ‘O Rabee’ah! Say in return to me what I said to you so that it becomes retribution’. I said, ‘I will not do so!’ Abu Bakr said, ‘Say it, or I will call Allah’s Messenger on you!’ I said, ‘I will not do so’. So Abu Bakr abandoned the piece of land and went to the Prophet and I followed him. The people from (the tribe of) Aslam came and said, ‘May Allah have mercy on Abu Bakr! Why would he call Allah’s Messenger on you when he has said to you what he has said?’ I said, ‘Do you know who that is? That is Abu Bakr -the Truthful (as-Siddeeq). He is the one who was in the Cave with the Prophet, and he is the elder of the Muslims! So beware that he turns around and sees you helping me against him and it makes him angry, then Allah’s Messenger comes along and becomes angry because of Abu Bakr’s anger, and then Allah becomes angry due to their anger, and thus Rabee’ah is destroyed!’ So, they said, ‘So what do you want us to do?’ I said, ‘Go back to where you came from’. Abu Bakr went to Allah’s Messenger and I followed him by myself and continued until he reached and informed him of our conversation as it happened. So he (the Prophet) raised his head to me and said, ‘O Rabee’ah! What is going on between you and as-Siddeeq?’ I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! This happened and that happened, so he said something to me that I disliked, and he told me to say the same thing back to him so that it would be a retribution’. Allah’s Messenger said, ‘Do not return his comment to him, rather say, may Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr! May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr!’ Then Abu Bakr turned his face and began to cry”.

Al-Allamah Zayd Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali [may Allah have mercy upon him] commented:

The hadith contains a remarkable story that provides us with an exhortation and a lesson. It demonstrates the pure hearts of the companions towards each other, showing that even in times of disagreement over worldly matters, they did not boycott one another, nor harboured grudges or hatred, instead, they offered sincere advice. This narrative highlights that the Sahaabah were people of fair play and justice, and they feared falling into disobedience and evil deeds. And if punishment was legislated for an evil deed, they preferred that it is received in this life rather than in the hereafter. This story illustrates the excellence of AbuBakr, his esteemed position among the Sahaabah, in the view of the Prophet, and also in the sight of Allah, as the Prophet held him in great regard and elevated him to his deserved status, just as Allah says in the Qur’an:

إِذۡ هُمَا فِى ٱلۡغَارِ إِذۡ يَقُولُ لِصَـٰحِبِهِۦ لَا تَحۡزَنۡ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَنَا‌ۖ

The second of two, when they were in the cave, he [Muhammad] said to his companion [Abu Bakr], “Be not sad (or afraid), surely Allah is with us”. [Surah At-Tawbah. Ayah 40]

Abu Bakr was the Prophet’s fellow in the cave. He holds the highest level of virtue among the Ummah after the Prophet, as agreed upon by Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jamaa’ah past and present. Indeed, the Prophet said to some of his other companions regarding Abu Bakr: “Would you not leave my companion for me” – meaning AbuBakr [i.e. don’t bother him, etc][Bukhari 3661]

This narrative highlights the importance of forgiveness and pardoning those who have wronged you, when you can do so and due to a (lawful or overriding) benefit because being forgiving and pardoning others will only bring you honour and a loftier status in the sight of Allah.

This narrative also demonstrates that the companions of the Prophet were not infallible. They made unintentional mistakes, but they were people whom Allah favoured with the privilege of being in the company of the Prophet. They did not persist in their mistakes, as can be seen in this story. Disagreements did arise among them, but they humbled themselves to the truth. They did not reject the truth with falsehood or engage in oppression. Instead, they promptly sought the guidance of Allah’s Messenger to resolve (the disagreements). The Messenger resolved those issues, and all of them were content with the judgment and submitted wholeheartedly.

This narrative highlights the importance of making supplications for others, especially those who have wronged you. Therefore, you supplicate for them that (Allah) rectifies their affairs and forgives them because you have an angel who responds, saying, “Ameen, and may Allah grant you the same”. One should be eager about this practice! The story shows that fulfilling the rights of others in this life is better than delaying it until the Day of Judgment, where no one will forgive another, even if they are close relatives. Additionally, it showcases the wisdom of Rabee’ah Al-Aslami, who advised his companions not to support or argue against Abu Bakr, recognising his esteemed status in the sight of Allah and the Messenger.

What do we derive as a benefit from this story: We must forgive and maintain love for each other when we have disagreements about worldly matters. A person should be eager to give others their rights and also seek forgiveness from those they have argued with.

An Excerpt from “at-Taleeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah”. Pages 1/42-44