بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Aa’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her: “O Aa’isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”.

Al-Allamah Zaid Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

This hadith contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also, this hadith contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all matters, for indeed gentleness is not found in any matter except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it ruins it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony. [1]

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: If a person says:

“What will make a man love his wife and vice versa?”

We say: Allah has clarified this in His statement:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

And live with them honourably. [An-Nisaa. 19]

If every person lives with his wife honourably and vice versa, then love, a strong bond and a happy married life will be established.

[Fataawaa Noor Alad-Darb 6/29. Abridged]

[1]at-Ta’liqat Al-Malihah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahadith As-Sahihah. 1/277.