In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
This Is What We Have Witnessed From Many of Our Youth – Respect For Parents and Other People’s Parents
Allah, The Most High, said:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَٰنًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Al-Israa 23-24]
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ
وَإِن جَٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. But if they both strive to make you associate others with Me (in worship)—that of which you have no knowledge (that it is a partner to Me)—then do not obey them, but accompany them in the life of this world with kindness, and follow the way of those—(the Prophet and his Companions)— who turned to Me in repentance. Then, to Me will be your return and I will inform you of what you used to do. https://www.thenoblequran.com/q/#/verse/31/15
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَٰهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَآ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do. [Al-Ankabut 8]
Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent. [Adab Al-Mufrad 2]
Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free.” [Sahih Muslim 1510]
Abdullah ibn Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and made a pledge to him that he would do hijra. He left his parents who were in tears. The Prophet said, ‘Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.'” [Sahih Abi Dawud: 2528]
They Neither Insult Nor Act In A Way That Will Lead to Criticism Against Their Parents
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, among the major sins is that a man curses his own parents.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, how can a man curse his own parents?” The Prophet said, “He insults the father of another man, and then that man insults his father and his mother.” [al-Bukhari 5973 and Muslim 90]
They Respect Elders
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones, or acknowledge the rights of our elders, he is not one of us.” [Abu Dawud 4943]
Abu Musa al-Ash’ari reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, part of glorifying Allah is to honor the gray-haired Muslim and the bearer of the Quran, who is neither extravagant nor neglectful of it, and to honor the just ruler.” [Sahih Abi Dawud 4843]
Sahl Bin Abu Hathma and Rafi’ Bin Khadij reported that Abdullah Bin Sahl Bin Zaid and Muhayyisa Bin Mas’ud Bin Zaid went out and as they reached Khaibar they were separated. Then Muhayyisa found Abdullah Bin Sahl having been killed. He buried him, and then came to Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.. They were Huwayyisa Bin Mas’ud and ‘Abdur Rahman Bin Sahl, and he (the latter one) was the youngest of the people began to speak before his companions (had spoken). So, Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “The eldest one (eldest in regard to age should speak)”. So, he kept quiet, and his companions (Muhayyisa and Huwayyisa) began to speak, and he (Abdur-Rahman) spoke along with them and they narrated to Allah’s Messenger the murder of Abdullah Bin Sahl. Then he (the Messenger) said to them, “Are you prepared to take fifty oaths so that you may be entitled (to blood-wit) of your companion (or your man who has murdered)?” They said, “How can we take an oath on a matter which we have not witnessed?” He said: “Then the Jews will exonerate themselves by fifty oaths”. They said, “How can we accept the oaths of people who are unbelievers?” When Allah’s Messenger saw that, he himself paid his blood-wit. [Sahih Muslim 1669]
Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, said,
The apparent context of the hadith is that the three came to Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, to relate the news, so Muhayyisa wanted to speak because he was the one who had the story and knew about it, and Abdur Rahman Bin Sahl did not speak because he was not present, or because he was the youngest of the people, or because the intent was to mention the case without making a claim, otherwise who would have had more right to speak? It would have been Abdur Rahman Bin Sahl, Abdullah’s brother because he is his heir. Muhayyisa and Huwayyisa are cousins of the murdered, but why did Muhayyisa want to speak even though he was lesser than a brother in relationship? This is because he had the story and knew about it. And why did Abdur Rahman not speak? It was either because of his young age or because he was sufficed with the statement of Muhayyisa due to him being the witness of the incident or because the intent was to mention the case and not the claim, otherwise if the intent was the claim, then Abdur Rahmaan Bin Sahl would have been the most entitled to speak, then Huwayyisa and then Muhayyisa”. [https://alathar.net/home/esound/index.php?op=codevi&coid=33690
Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “The young should greet elders with peace, the passerby should greet those sitting, and the small group should greet the large group.” [al-Bukhari 6233]
Some Matters Related to Knowledge and Learning
https://salafidawahmanchester.com/2026/01/26/knowledge-across-generations-guidance-responsibility-and-harmony/
Respect People of Knowledge
The People of Knowledge
They Know That There Are Instances Where Elders Are Not Given Precedence Over The Youth
Sahl Bin Sa’d reported: Once a tumbler (full of milk or water) was brought to Allah’s Messenger who drank from it, while on his right side there was sitting a boy who was the youngest of those who were present, and on his left side there were old men. The Prophet asked, “O boy ! Do you allow me to give (the drink) to the elder people (first)?” The boy said, “I will not prefer anybody to have my share from you, O Allah’s Apostle!” So, he gave it to the boy. [al-Bukhari 2366]
Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “The best versed in the recitation of the Quran should lead the prayer. If they are equal in their recitation, then the one most knowledgeable of them in the Sunnah. If are equal in knowledge of the Sunnah, then the one who first performed emigration. If they emigrated at the same time, then the one who first embraced Islam. No man should lead another man in prayer, nor sit in the honored place in his home, unless he has his permission.” [Muslim 673]
They Do Not Assist Anyone In Wrong Doing -Not Even Their Parents – Regardless How Long They’ve Known Them Or How Close They Are to Them In Any Community
From The Sunnah Is That You Do Not Help Anyone In Disobedience to Allaah – [By Imaam Al-Barbahaaree (rahimahullaah)]
Finally: This was solely a reminder and not an attempt to patronise you. You and us understand that it is obligatory to treat elders with the highest respect. We are not aware of any sensible parent who encourages their child to be bold in a way that disrespects other elders. Adhere to the truth and do not abandon it for anyone, but maintain the highest level of respect, kind and respectful speech, and humility when interacting with others’ parents. Do not appease anyone —be it an elder or your peers —to infringe upon the rights of others. Do not assist any of your peers who disguise his disrespect under the pretense of entitlement to one’s views, and do not support any elder who masks his biases with a call for respect. Instead, strive for fairness and adhere to clear principles and proofs.
Just as the age of an elder cannot be used to coerce any youth into adopting weak positions, the pursuit of evidence should not lead any youth to act disrespectfully, particularly on Twitter, or WhatsApp/Telegram groups. The aim is to follow truth without falling into blameworthy actions. This is expected from all of us.
However, the calamity is that sometimes a youth or short-sighted elder – alongside being confused, careless, incorrect, and stubborn – is oblivious to bad behaviour behind a screen just because he has a chance to voice his opinions. We all know that being respectful does not equate to agreeing with everything an elder says or does; it means communicating without insults, humiliation, foolish boldness and unwarranted defiance in the presence of the contemporaries of our parents or those much older and more knowledgeable than them. This shut doors and raise doubts about a person’s upbringing, even if they have been consistently guided by their parents to behave in an upright manner. We are not saying that any elder is above accountability because simply being older does not inherently make anyone right. Rather, we all recognise the fact that true wisdom is demonstrated through fairness, not merely by position and age, nor can authority be turned into a tool of pressure, as this erodes trust over time. Instead, all matters should be referred back to the Book and Sunnah as understood and implemented by the Salaf.
Do not expect parents to take your side in any social media group unless the matter is based on an unambiguous knowledge-based proof. We do not know any sensible elder who supports his child in wrong doing, disrespectful behaviour or keeping quiet when bad behaviour is manifests. Likewise, we do not know of any sensible parent who outsources his disagreements nor involve their children in personal issues, nor asked their children to disrespect or direct criticism towards any elder, act as messengers of antagonism, hostility or disrespect.
A sensible parent knows that this confuses and burdens children, especially when they reach their late 20s. We have witnessed this in some of the clans and tribes when some shortsighted elders pull youth into their disputes and placed them in a challenging position. Thus, the young person feels compelled to take sides without any understanding, disrespect someone they once valued, adopt unhealthy communication patterns, plunge into emotional turmoil, weaken their moral foundation, and avoid direct accountability. This is not how the truthful elders of our clans and tribes behaved; rather, their disagreements were modeled with dignity, mature conduct, clear boundaries, no recruitment of allies for personal conflicts, and neutrality until the truth became evident, at which point one was expected to stand up for the truth.
The wise elders of our clans and tribes shielded their youth from unnecessary relational tension, while shortsighted clan and tribe elders weakened mutual bonds through indirect conflict, reduced trust in elders, fostered factional thinking, diminished respect for authority overall, and raised questions about transparency and fairness. Therefore, neither expect your parents to get you involved in their disputes nor involve them in yours, except from the angle of enjoining good and forbidding evil, as this is required from all of us.
Our parents, the wise clan and tribe elders consistently communicated to us that safeguarding us did not equate to condoning misbehaviour. They demonstrated genuine love and were protective when anyone faced oppression, yet there was a clear distinction between defending our welfare and endorsing disrespectful actions of a child or keeping quiet about their bad behaviour, especially in the presence of other elders. Therefore, I urge the children of my household – first and foremost- especially those of you with my grandchildren to embrace humility wherever you maybe. Pay close attention to your conduct by utilising the Book and the Sunnah to address especially internal humility, for one can appear humble outwardly while the heart is filled with arrogance and inflated self-importance, as Utbah Bin Gazwan, may Allah be pleased with him, stated:
أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ أَنْ أَكُونَ فِي نَفْسِي عَظِيمًا وَعِنْدَ اللَّهِ صَغِيرًا
I seek refuge with Allah that I should consider myself great whereas I am insignificant in the eye of Allah. [Sahih Muslim 2967]
Let this be one of the reminders to all the children of my household and the younger brothers I sit with. We ask Allah:
اللَّهُمَّ بِعِلْمِكَ الْغَيْبَ وَقُدْرَتِكَ عَلَى الْخَلْقِ أَحْيِنِي مَا عَلِمْتَ الْحَيَاةَ خَيْراً لِي وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا عَلِمْتَ الْوَفَاةَ خَيْراً لِي، اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ خَشْيَتَكَ فِي الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ كَلِمَةَ الْحَقِّ فِي الرِّضَا وَالْغَضَبِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ الْقَصْدَ فِي الْغِنَى وَالْفَقْرِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ نَعِيماً لَا يَنْفَذُ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ قُرَّةَ عَيْنٍ لَا تَنْقَطِعُ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ الرِّضِا بَعْدَ الْقَضَاءِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ بَرْدَ الْعَيْشِ بَعْدَ الْمَوْتِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ لَذَّةَ النَّظَرِ إِلَى وَجْهِكَ وَالشَّوْقَ إِلَى لِقَائِكَ فِي غَيْرِ ضَرَّاءَ مُضِرَّةٍ وَلَا فِتْنَةٍ مُضِلَّةٍ، اللَّهُمَّ زَيِّنَّا بِزِينَةِ الْإِيمَانِ
وَاجْعَلْنَا هُدَاةً مُهْتَدِينَ
O Allah! By Your Knowledge of the unseen and by Your Power over creation, let me live if life is good for me, and let me die if death is good for me; O Allah! I ask You to grant me (the blessing of having) fear of You in private and public, and I ask You (to make me utter) a statement of truth in times of contentment and anger, and I ask You for moderation when in a state of wealth and poverty, and I ask you for blessings that never ceases, and I ask You for the coolness of my eye that never ends, and I ask You (to make me pleased) after (Your) decree; and I ask You for a life of (ease, comfort, tranquillity, etc) after death; I ask You for the delight of looking at Your Face (i.e. in the Hereafter) and yearning to meet You without any harm and misleading trials (coming upon me). O Allah! Adorn us with the adornment of Iman, and make us (from those who are) guided and guiding (others).
O Allah! Let Me Live If Life is Good For Me And Let Me Die if Death is Good For Me
