In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allah, The Most High, said:

فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا

If you dislike them (i.e. your wives due to something you see in them), it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. [An-Nisaa 19]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

A person (man) may dislike a woman due to a trait of hers, while there is a great deal of goodness in keeping her and he does not know it. He may love a woman due to a trait of her traits, while in keeping her there is much evil and he does not know it. The human being is as he has been described by his Creator: “Verily, he (man) was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results).” [Al-Ahzab 72]

Therefore, it is not befitting that he places his inclination, love, aversion, and hatred as a measure for that which harms or benefits him. Rather, the measure is that which Allah has selected for him of commandments and prohibitions. The most beneficial things for him — without exception — are obedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly, and the most harmful — without exception — is disobedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly. If he embarks upon sincere obedience and servitude to Him, all that he encounters from that which he hates is better for him. And if he withdraws from obedience and servitude to Allah, all that is in what he loves is bad for him.

Therefore, whoever has sound knowledge regarding his Lord and an understanding of His Names and Attributes knows with certainty that there are great benefits and useful things in those hated things that afflict him and trials that befall him, which he cannot enumerate through his knowledge and contemplation. Rather, the great benefits for a slave (of Allah) are greater in that which he hates than in what he loves. In general, the beneficial things for the souls are found in what they hate, just as the harmful things for the souls and the causes for their destruction are in what they love. [1]

The Importance of Knowing One’s Wife

Aa’isha narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her: “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me”. I said, “When do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad’, but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim’. Thereupon I said, ‘Yes, (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name'”.

Benefits From This Hadeeth:

A man’s thorough observation regarding the state of a woman due to her action, speech, inclination or lack of inclination towards him based on indications, because the Prophet firmly determined Aa’iSha’s happiness or anger merely when she mentioned or refrain from mentioning his name; therefore, he judged the two situations based on the mention or the absence of a mention of his name as an indication of happiness or anger. It can also be definitely the case that there is something more explicit regarding this affair, but he did not say it.

And regarding the statement of Aa’Isha’s “Yes (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name”. At-Teebee said, “This is a very subtle way of making an exception, because she related that when she is in a state of anger – a state in which a sane person loses his senses by choice, her affirmed love for the Messenger does not change.

Ibn Al-Muneer said, “What Aa’isha intended is that she left out the wording of the Prophet’s name but her heart’s pure love and affection towards the noble person of the Prophet does not leave her”.

And with regards to the choice Aa’Isha, may Allah be pleased with her, made to use Ibrahim’s, peace be upon him, name instead of the other Prophet’s, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, this is proof regarding her intelligence, because the Prophet is the one with the best claim to Ibrahim just as Allah stated in the Qur’an. Therefore, when she had no other way of leaving a noble name, she replaced it with the name of someone who is from the one whose name she left out, so that her heart does not exit the boundaries of that attachment.  [2]

[1] An Excerpt from “Al-Fawaa’d pages 145-148. slightly paraphrased

[2] An Excerpt from Fath Al-Bari Sharh Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadeeth 5228. Vol 9. pages 404- 405. Darus Salam Print.